dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
