Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
