i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
