He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
