hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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