U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
