Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
