his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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