why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
