Where did you get a picture of my penis
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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