Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
