I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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