is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
