Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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