The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
