Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
