and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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