I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The power of my boobs compel you
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
