but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
