Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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