It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
as a side note pls kill me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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