$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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