so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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