So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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