Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
