Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
