season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Let's get the cat blown out
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
