too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
