last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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