he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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