fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
