My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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