Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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