Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
