dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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