yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
