we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
