I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
