Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
