It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
