oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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