Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
