I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
