before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
