Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
