the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
