i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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