So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
