she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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