I'm lost and stupid without you.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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