Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
